It was a rash and fleeting act of violence, never to be repeated.  I had no desire to hit girls.  And the whole incident troubled and confused me.

    But I think I know now why I hit Merry that day.  I was afraid.  It was the same fear that made me run from Jan at Skate-a-rama, the same fear that made me turn Chris into a Cootie Queen.  I thought I had been found out.  I thought I  had heard ridicule in Merry’s laughter.  I thought she had discovered my desire and found it laughable – an object of contempt.  I thought I had no right to that desire, or to expect her to reciprocate my feelings.  I felt unworthy.  It was a hard lesson to unlearn.

  Go Back             Go Home             Site Map

Copyright © 1999 All Rights Reserved.